Let Them Be Little

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 I love my kids. Man do I ever love my kids. They are like little pieces of me and my husband so perfectly put together, the sum of our best traits. I just love them. Except when I don't. And I don't mean my motherly love is only conditional, I mean there are times when I don't really like them. Like they are being little jerks. Like the sum of our negative qualities equally put together and it explodes in a volcano of some sorts on any given day. A meltdown here, a tantrum there, a whine and cry thrown in the middle. Every day is like the famous quote from Forrest Gump - Life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're gonna get. This season of life is exhausting. And overwhelming. And all encompassing. And like you don't ever get a break. And it's in this season where I'm finding myself in more and more need of a savior.

My daughter, who will be five next month, is my little evangelist. She just has such a pure heart for Jesus and she lives it out daily. The biblical concepts she talks about just blows my mind. I could listen to her talk for literally hours about Jesus....if only she could stay focused that long! While my husband and I were having a discussion about a family acquaintance, my daughter butted into the conversation with "I just love her so much". I responded with an "Oh that's nice" just to move back to my previous discussion. But she said it again and I asked "Why do you love her so much?" She replied "Because Jesus made her and He loves her so much". Like that was it. Not an "I love her because she does this and this...." Nope. Just because Jesus made her. That phrase from a four year old was probably the most profound statement I've heard in a while. Maybe ever. If only everybody could have this mind frame. If only I could have this mind frame.

Raising kids is hard. Throw in a neurologic condition and a speech delay, and it's like winning the parental lottery that you never signed up for. Let's be real - I love my children with everything in me. But they get on my nerves. They need me every second of the waking day. I have to put myself last in order to put them first. And it was a hard adjustment to make. Even now, my days are sometimes filled with irritations, frustrations, disappointments, and a selfish attitude. But you know who was never irritated with littles? Jesus. In fact, I'm amazed how many times He talks about the children or includes them in the gospels. Theres a scripture in Mark 9:33 (conveniently located directly after the healing of the boy with seizures!) where the disciples ask Jesus who is the greatest. Jesus takes a little child in His arms exclaiming "Whoever welcomes little children in my Name, welcomes Me." And then again in chapter 10, the disciples were getting angry that little children kept coming to Jesus when He had more important things to do. But Jesus answered "Let the little children come to me for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these". He took them in His arms and blessed them. Like in that moment, they were the most important thing to Him. 

Children are not a hindrance. They are not an irritation that just gets in our way. They may seem like it sometimes, but focusing on Jesus' words can shift our mindsets. When I listen to my daughter, her ideas of Heaven and Jesus are so real, so pure, and so powerful. And she's four. She doesn't question anything or doubt anything. Or say I'm not going to love you if....She just believes. I wish I could say the same for myself. There are days where I would much rather be anywhere but here. Days that I can't wait for bedtime just to be free of my children....for like 5 minutes. But Jesus says "Let them come to Me." And I need that too. Put aside my frustrations and ridiculous attitude, and just realize my need for a savior. Let it sink in, that we all like children, need someone to say "I love you because I created you, and I make no mistakes." So enjoy the littles while they last because they don't last long. Today's Barbies and Hot Wheels will be tomorrow's make up and sports. I'm taking time to enjoy the moments, be present, and fully embrace this hot mess of a life season!

(And now I'm off to tend to the raging, screaming, nap-fighting two year old. Good times ahead!)

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