Erase it and try again!

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 When I was expecting my first child, we had high expectations of what she would turn out to be in her life...a doctor, a lawyer, a professional athlete perhaps?! Wishful thinking, right? About two years later at a doctor appointment, she boldly proclaimed she wanted to be in the medical profession some day but then proceeded to lick the wall because she wanted to know what the color beige tasted like. Clearly she ain't getting into med school any time soon. As embarrassing as that little story was, it set the way for the rest of my motherhood journey. Sometimes our expectations become too much and the weight we put on our children is a little overbearing.

The wall licker is now almost five and repeating her 4K grade. Yup I admitted it, I am that parent. When the school year starts and everyone will be like "Wasn't she in 4K last year?" and I'll be like "Yes but sometimes we all need a second chance". Okay maybe the conversation won't go like that and instead I'll just nod my head in humiliation and wipe the hot tears off my face. Who knows! Yesterday I created a brilliant little game for her in which I had alphabet flash cards, a white board, markers, and an eraser. I would show her the card, have her tell me which letter it was, then quickly hide the card and make her write the letter on the white board. All while the Jeopardy theme played in the background...genius. While she succeeded at about 75% of these, I could feel my frustrations rise up when she started failing. Instead of being the kind, compassionate, understanding mom, I went to being all "Why can't you get this straight and what am I paying for your education for?" kind of mom. My frustration became anger, then doubt, then negativity, then "You are never going to college at this rate...". Eventually in an effort to help her, I held up the card to the white board and asked her if her attempt at writing looked like the same letter on the card. She reluctantly said no, and I responded "So lets erase it and try again." 

Truth bomb. Does my attempt at daily life look like Jesus? Does my efforts and attitudes resemble the lifestyle that Jesus led? When I compare my heart to the card (Bible), does it look similar? No it does not. At all. But the good news is He already erased it all for me. All my sin, mistakes, wrong behaviors, judgmental attitudes, and frustrations. Those wrong marks I created on my whiteboard have been wiped clean. The marks I continually make and will keep making in the future have already been cleaned off for me. That's the kind of second chance...or third, fourth, fifth, one hundredth...that we all desperately need. 

My love for my children isn't based on what they accomplish in life or how often they succeed. And neither is Jesus' love for me and you. So every day we get up and try again. We show the world that even if we fail, we have been given the freedom in Christ to erase it and try again. 

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