Tell Me Why?

Why? The greatest question there ever was...especially when you hear it all day long. My daughter recently began this "Why" phase where everything you tell her is questioned by "but why?". She's so curious about the world around her and is learning new things every day, but this simple question gets overwhelming at times. Most of the time my answer is the common parenting advice "because I said so". But the more she questions me reminds me of all the times I've been questioning God especially lately. In a very short amount of time, our family has suffered some pretty major blows. While I can't go into wide detail right now, the trauma and stress has had many serious impacts. To be honest, there's been days where I find it hard to get out of bed and hard to fall asleep. There's been times where I couldn't be the mom that my children needed me to be. While I can extend an endless thank you to all of my support system, we are still recovering and healing.

A couple weeks ago, my husband and I had the privilege of enjoying a weekend getaway without the kids. One afternoon as my husband was napping, I sat down on the shores of Lake Michigan with my bible and just started sharing my heart with God. In my depression, I began shaking my head and asking why did you do this to me? Why did all of this have to happen to us right now? Why, in all of the vehicles out that day and that exact millisecond of time, did my daughter and I have to endure that situation? Why does bad things have to happen to good people? The biggest question I've ever met in my mind....why do bad things happen to good people? I'm not saying my family and I are perfect by any means. We are still sinners just like everyone else. But we try...we attend church, we serve, we pray together, we forgive, we try to be decent human beings. But still the unimaginable had to happen to us.

I felt much like my daughter in the way she questions everything I do and say. But we want answers, don't we? Sometimes those answers just don't come. While I didn't get a specific answer or game plan that I was looking for, the conversation went something like this:
God: You haven't enjoyed your time lately?
Me: No it's been difficult. I don't understand why we have to go through this...
God: You may not understand, but I know what's ahead. While you ask all your questions, let me ask you a few. Are you a different person now than you were before? Do you have more compassion on the hurting now? Do you find yourself more easily relying on me for everything? Do you have a different outlook on life? Are you closer to your husband and family now than you were before?
Me: Yes but...
God: Then it was for the best, wasn't it?

I'm still stuck thinking on it. In fact, Romans 5:3-5 says that we should be joyful in our sufferings. The most painful situations can produce something good out of them. Even if I don't know or understand much of these situations, I can trust that God is working all things out for His good. Maybe some of you are experiencing some difficult times right now also. The suffering is not easy, the way is not wide. But trust in God and ask Him some of your questions. As irritating as it is for me to listen to my three year old repeat the same question, God never tires of hearing from you. Even if He doesn't always have an answer, He is always listening.