Wandering in the wilderness...with toddlers

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About a month ago, I made the decision to read through the entire bible. This is not an easy task, especially with a three year old and one year old at home with me. Some days I read five or six chapters and other days I only make it through a couple verses. Anyways, I'm diving deep into the book of Exodus. While I was dreading the old testament laws and genealogies, the stories are actually surprising with how much they resonate with me. I've heard them all before as a child, but to sit and read through them again as an adult is quite interesting and I would highly recommend it. Today's storyline really hit me and inspired me to share this. Now I've gotten to a man named Moses. Everyone knows him and his story, but I want to dive deeper. 

Now Moses was specifically chosen by God to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Can you imagine the state of shock when God said "Go, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt!" Moses' answer was "Who am I that I should go?" He was basically saying, Look God you got the wrong guy. He even argued with God and began the "What-if" questions, trying to get him to send someone else. We all know how the story plays out, Moses leads the Israelites out of Egypt and saves the day! But wait....they still need to get to Canaan, the promised land flowing with milk and honey. With their fearless leader in charge, the Israelites move forward...except it is taking longer than anticipated. Things don't go as planned and now the Israelites have concerns. They start doing their own thing, not trusting Moses. 

The bible refers to the Israelites several times as being "Stiff-necked" or stubborn. These people have become whiny, disobedient, selfish, and poor listeners. Now I'm asking fellow moms...does this sound familiar? Even Moses complains to God several times about the people He has entrusted him to lead; "What am I to do with these people?" - Exodus 17:4. I don't know about you, but I feel like Moses most days. I'm not a perfect mom, in fact most days I struggle just to make it to bed time. But how many times have I cried out either to myself or anyone listening - "What am I supposed to do with these kids?". 

The verses that really struck me come from Exodus 33:12-14. Moses is really looking for help and encouragement. "You have said 'I know you by name and you have found favor with me'". This was basically saying, God knew Moses and chose him for a special purpose. Now maybe you're purpose isn't as big as leading thousands of people, but maybe it is still big leading one or two people. When God called Moses to save the Israelites, it was a pretty huge responsibility with no training. When God gave me children, we read the baby books and did some research but trust me when I say - there is no amount of education that can prepare you for parenthood. Maybe you're like me in thinking "I can't do this, God you got the wrong person for the job". I've thought this many many times throughout my career and even now into raising young toddlers. It became painfully evident to me when my three year old daughter was playing with her dollies and let out a huge sigh exclaiming "I just can't do this anymore..." Although her response was humorous at the time, it made me realize my own insecurities and moments of weakness are now being imitated by my children.

But then God answered Moses, "My presence will go with you and I will give you rest". Bam...there's the answer. So who am I trusting for help and where do I find rest? It's easy to spend hours looking to "Dr. Google" for all the answers. But it won't give you what you crave. Binging that new show on Netflix can give you relief for a moment, but it won't last. This season of life is hard. Like really beyond belief hard. As I soaked in these verses today, it truly set this truth deep in my heart: Come to Him and find rest. Spend time with Him and in His words and you will find the rest that you so desperately need. God is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving rebellion and sin. That's the kind of truth my soul needs and the kind of relationship I need to have with my own children. So today, even though you are weary and thinking there's no way I can do this, remain in God's presence and rest assured - He will help you! 

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